I've been interested in BDSM without knowing what it was for quite some time.  It goes all the way back to childhood.  However, it wasn't until my early 20's that I began to explore that side of myself.  In time, I understood that I have a transformation fetish and that I enjoy being dominated by another man.  Now at 29, I have found a guy that can make these fantasies a reality to their most extreme level.  On the 10th, we get to see if the reality is something worth living.

It comes at the point after my longest vanilla relationship with this hippy named David.  It also comes at a time of much spiritual confusion for me.  I think what is so appealing about this for me right now is the opportunity to leave the burden of being human behind: career, spirituality, lover, family and friends.  Maybe, it's the burden of responsibility.  We get to choose so much, and I think I just want someone else to make the decisions for me.  The real question is:  Will I always feel this way?  I have been given a lot and haven't really known what to do with it for some time now.  I've had lots of friends in my life but am in a bit of a slump right now in that area.  It's to the point where I almost feel like a slave without a master, again.

In fact, that's how he and I got to know one another.  I was in a slump friend-wise, job-wise, relationship-wise, life-wise.  So I had the time to get to know him.  We clicked for the most part and I scheduled a flight to visit but didn't get on it due to some car trouble.  I did eventually get around to visiting a couple times.  At the end of the day, I chose love.  So what has changed between then and now?  Was vanilla not the answer for me?  Or was David just not the answer for me?  One thing is for sure: I've got some questions that need answering.  I believe this trip will be worthwhile and fun while providing the answers to these questions.